Dear Death,
I want to greet you with open arms: I’ve been longing for you.
Your blood is in my hands yet I do not remember the shape of you. Will you help me remember? Will your body ache for my touch? Will you shiver at the thought of me?
I’ve been looking for you in places where light does not exist. Under my bed is a canopy of constellations gathering dust. Orion tells me there is a violent desire with every wish upon a dying star.
What do you wish for in the ungodly hours of the night? To whom do you dedicate your devastating devotion?
The past haunts me in the daylight. Sunlight scorches through my skin like wildfire on grass.
I ask Icarus,
“Is this what it’s like to fall?”
“Blood burns hotter than fire,” He confesses.
“Desire burns hotter than blood.”
What should I do with the fragments of my nightmares? The enormity of my fear gnaws at me. The walls bleed and yearn for your heart. Your shadow chases me with a knife.
The lucid reality unfolds as lightning strikes the sky: there is no escaping your gauntly desire.
ABOUT
Alistair Gaunt (they/he/she) is a Filipino queer non-binary poet who was born in Southern Philippines. She is a self-taught writer, with English being her third language. Their writing contemplates the queer experience, violent desires, peculiar dreams, death, grief, and catharsis. He has appeared in the House of Poetry’s Debut Issue, and is currently working on his unpublished poetry collection. They may be contacted through alistairgauntwriting@gmail.com.
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